Divorce in some instances may just be deliverance of some from the fowler’s net – 24years Married Christian Couple shares on the ingredients of godly, lasting marriage

Divorce was ever in God’s plan but if the coming together was not by Him, then there was never a joining so to speak in His records. – Mrs. Toyin Evans-Emmanuel

WiGRadio Team: So, we’re learning from an experienced couple today. You are welcome sir and ma.

The Evans-Emmanuel: Thank you, we are glad to be here.

WiGRadio Team: Sir and ma, how long has it been since you said I DO?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: 11th December, 1999

WiGRadio Team: Wow. That’s 24 years . How did you two meet? And what was the attraction?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: We met at our mutual friends house… I didn’t have time to even think of attraction before I heard that she was my wife.

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Well from my end, it was at a time I had my mind on NYSC. I went to Akure to my senior friends who were both married and were his own friends as well. I was brooding over the fact that I should be in camp and not back in school.
Relationship was not in my mind at all.

WiGRadio Team: Sir, were you searching for a wife as at the time?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Well, I won’t say I wasn’t because of the season I was. I was serving after about 2 years of absconding and lots of things were going on in my mind… It wasn’t at the front burner really.

WiGRadio Team: Ma, how did he approach you and were you attracted to him?

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Like I said earlier, he was there at the time I wanted to have some private time with my friends because they kept a rich library of books and tapes. He didn’t leave when I thought he would have and was either asking me a question or something. I was like inside my heart “brother yí ọ ní losi ilé ni? He sha was keeping close.

WiGRadio Team: Sir, what would you say is the major key to your marital success?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Living by the word of God…

WiGRadio Team: Wow, simple and powerful.During your courtship, how were you able to keep yourself in check?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: We decided on boundaries which should never be crossed which was never crossed.The decision to stick to God’s pattern and way of doing things have really helped our love for one another and the operation of our home.

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Both of us have the desire to please God. We became very good friends. We still want to remain pleasing God and keep being friends.

WiGRadio Team: Wonderful. During the early stages of your marriage and even now, how were you able to handle misunderstandings and difference in opinions?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: We hardly have differences in opinion except for politics… We don’t easily share political opinions… When we have such outside political views we understand that what binds us is stronger than any misunderstanding we may have, so they don’t last further than the moment… We often call ourselves to issues and we accept whenever we are wrong

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Just like we had boundaries during our courtship, we had in our early years of marriage. This time it is to look out for each other and not allow what will hurt the other person.

WiGRadio Team: Vigorously taking notes ✍ Thank you for sharing this ma.

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: That latter part is key. We look out for how not to hurt each other. We see this as very crucial. We see ourselves as existing to give the other maximum pleasure and peace of mind

WiGRadio Team: What are your favourite things to do together? Because we know you both have your jobs and ministries. How do you both stay connected with all the demands?

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Well, we only accept that we will have to stay apart for certain reasons otherwise, I’m never bored having her close by and I’ll do everything for that… I don’t feel complete whenever we aren’t together to be honest.

WiGRadio Team: This is so touching. Even after 24 years.

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Both of us are highly involved in each other’s career. You see, we do our jobs together. That is to say each one is involved in the the other’s to the extent to which it is morally/officially accepted. For instance, he takes the pleasure of taking me to or fro work whenever possible. Helps to source my uniforms and kits. On the other hand, my offs are forfeited as a result of days I have to spend by His side in ministry.

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Even at that she won’t disturb the flow, loves to be my behind the scenes operator during programs, totally helpful without ruffling things…

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: My big cousin did a video call from England a few days ago and discovered we were eating dinner together…he couldn’t hide it that he wished to have such, meanwhile it’s just the norm with us… So long we are together, we eat together… Even when eating out sometimes.

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Sometimes we have people staring at us in eateries and restaurants. 😊😁

WiGRadio Team: From your answers, you are each other’s best friends. We love it. 😭😭😭

Pst. Toks Evans -Emmanuel: I believe one thing we want as men is freedom… She gives that space for me to be free to express whatever God wants me to do as close as she is to me physically… It’s a great skill to be able to balance the two… Being tightly close and also giving space.

WiGRadio Team: Ma, what is your take on “God told me you are His will for me in marriage and the absence of love from the sister in question?

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: If God told the brother about the sister, then he would tell or would have told the sister about him too and that can be found out in the place of prayer. If God is there and one submits to His will, they will see, feel and hear Jesus in each other. That is love and fondness growing.

WiGRadio Team: And sir, sister is not hearing the same thing from God as Brother and she is unwilling to go ahead with brother. Brother is saying he has not heard otherwise from God, what should brother do sir?

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: The brother should take his time to be sure he’s being led of God. And even when he’s sure, he must wait for the sister to be convinced and be willing… If she’s not willing even if God is speaking, he can’t do anything about it… God is also faithful, He won’t force her but find another sister for him.

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Nothing should be forced… God doesn’t force us to do His will

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: If na God, love go grow. If It is not God, walk away without apology because both of them will get hurt at the end.

WiGRadio Team: Hmm. What do you have to say to the wife of a brother who loves to often be by himself. But whose wife thinks he is neglecting her and the family?

And vice versa. What is your advice to this type of couple sir and ma?

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: You can’t be married and ALWAYS want to be alone or by yourself.NO ! No matter how much you love a person, you must give him/her some breathing space to be by him/herself.
It shows respect to his/her person.

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Marriage is understanding. You learn him and give that space. If you strive to please one another, you won’t even think about yourself but about how things suit your partner. Most of the complaints about neglect, even when genuine are selfish and selfishness and marriage don’t work together. Even when genuine. We must be more about pleasing the other person we are married to even when it hurts… Both party should have that mentality. 33But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. 34There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

WiGRadio Team: We must be more about pleasing the other person we are married to even when it hurts…✍️ But how much of the hurt should be endured in pleasing one’s partner sir? Is there a limit to this sir?

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: If there is no reciprocation, that’s a red flag. If one is taking advantage of the other person’s stance to please him or her, the flags become two…If one is now deliberately inflicting hurts… That’s the limit…It is a law… Don’t deliberately hurt your.partner… That’s the day the vow is broken. It is called putting away… Hatred.

WiGRadio Team: Also, what is your take on financial responsibility in marriage? Sir and ma

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Everyone owns everything. Everyone works for everyone. Every job is everyone’s job. Everyone contributes to every venture and every earning is for everyone. Every need is everyone’s need. If the woman needs a sanitary pad, it is family need not just her need.

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Exactly!

WiGRadio Team: What is your take on divorce sir and ma? Can Christian couples also file for divorce?

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: If it gets to physical or proven mental abuse that’s hurting the other person, I’ll recommend separation… If the one causing the pain gets provenly healed they can come back…

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Divorce was never in God’s plan but if the coming together was not by Him, the there was never a joining so to speak in His records.
Being joined the group by the Pope in Vatican city does not make a marriage of God. So divorce in some instances may just be deliverance of some from the fowler’s net.

WiGRadio Team: Lastly, what is your advice to young couples singles looking to the face of God for a godly partner sir and ma? And also to married couples facing one or two challenges in the marriage?

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: If you are single and seeking, know what God has said, be sincere with yourself, trust God absolutely, He alone knows who He has made for you… Wait and only move when He asks you to. Despise no one but stick to His recommendations as to who you should marry. Don’t be desperate but don’t despise. And to married couples, There’s no challenge to difficult if love will replace selfishness and pride will give way for humility

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Let each one find his/her PURPOSE in God and keep at it. In doing that, the mate will come. To married couples, they should look back and check where, what, how and where are you about their hurts and sincerely apologize deal with them. Each one must look inward and not be in a hurry to point fingers.

WiGRadio Team: Finally, sir, kindly say a word of prayer for our single youths in waiting. And ma, for Christian couples that are trusting God for the fruit of the womb.

Pst.  Toks Evans -Emmanuel: Father we thank you, we give you glory, we worship your name, we thank you for all of your children who are trusting you for partners, who desire to be married, who are looking to you for that part of their lives, Lord we ask Oh God, you who made them male and female from the beginning, Lord you will lead them to that person that you have made for each of them in the name of Jesus. We pray Oh God that you’ll clear confusion out of their minds, grant them clarity, let every enticing and seducing influence that would want to lead them away from your plan be destroyed. Help them Oh God to discover your will early and to submit to it in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus. We trust Oh God that they will not miss out on your plan and you will lay a great foundation for them, in the mighty name of Jesus, thank you our father, in Jesus name we have prayed. Amen!

Mrs Toyin Evans-Emmanuel: Father in Jesus name, I pray for couples who are looking unto you, trusting you for the fruit of the womb, you said children are your gift, they are our inheritance, they are heritage from you and so because that is your word we say let it be a reality in their lives and we ask Oh God for those you have been trying to speak to as per your purpose, your will even in the area of seeking help medically and those you have given the grace to go and adopt, Father God we ask that Lord you will grant them the wisdom to accept your will In the name of Jesus. There is nothing you cannot do, there is no medical condition that cannot be cured, there is nothing, no emotional condition that you are not ahead of. Father God we ask that all this Oh God that you’ll open your children’s eyes to them in the name of Jesus, that they will accept your will and your purpose for them in the area of the fruit of the womb in Jesus name, thank you mighty God, thank you for those children that are coming, thank you for those children waiting for one christian couple or the other to come and have them, father we receive them in Jesus name. Amen

WiGRadio Team: And amen.