My Wife’s Dad Didn’t Want Her To Marry Me, He Didn’t Attend Our Wedding But He Gave Us Permission To Go Ahead – Christian Brother Shares on Wife’s Family Receptance

WiGRadio Team: How did you meet? What attracted you to each other?

Mr Dayo Adetunji: We met on NYSC camp Cross River state. Her vision heartedness and discipline of life attracted me.

Mrs.Olubusayo Adetunji: What attracted me to my husband was his diligence in prayer on camp at the early hours of the morning when other Corp members were still asleep.

WiGRadio Team: Did you know immediately at the time that you were going to get married to him? Aside the attraction, how did you get your confirmation that he is the one.

Mrs.Olubusayo Adetunji: No, I did not know I would get married to him. I took time out to pray when I noticed he was coming more regularly to see me and I had peace about him after praying.

WiGRadio Team: What drew you to each other? And over the years, do these things still hold true or they have changed?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: I believe what drew us to each other was our Spirituality and simplicity. Yes over the years, it still holds true. We are real and honest with each other and it sticks us together like glue.

WiGRadio Team: After the attraction, how did you get your confirmation that she is the one?Did you tell her immediately about it? Or you waited till after NYSC? And when you did, what was the reception like from her?

Mr. Dayo Adetunji: I followed peace in my spirit. Yes, I went after her.She was serving as a state Treasurer so the law won’t allow. I proposed after her tenure but during NYSC, 2 months before Passing out Parade. She was welcoming yet spiritual. I remember taking her out to the cinema with 2 of my male friends and their female friends. It was almost time to enter the cinema but she left me alone to go do choir practice. I paid her fare and let her go.Painful but made me know how much she loved God. That’s part of my attraction.

WiGRadio Team: Can you share with us one or two trials of faith you’ve faced in your marriage? Moments where all you could do is just hold on tight unto God and He showed up.

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: We went through trial of waiting for the prophecy of God concerning East African missions to be fulfilled in our lives. It looked like life was static at that period and I remember a respected senior friend calling me to warn me not to agree to go with my husband to Tanzania because he feared we will end up as casualties of a strange land.

Wigradio Team: Okay, so moving on, you both relocated some years back, was this part of the plan at the beginning? That you will missionaries? And being that it is for mission purpose, did it cause any strain on your marriage at all? If it did, how were you able to manage it?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: Yes. We got married with the full knowledge of being missionaries, so we were able to adapt to the demands of this calling on our marriage.

Mr. Dayo Adetunji: Hahaha.we married for the mission of God. Every family must marry on purpose. Marriage with destiny.we started going to fields, trainings and places together even ignore marriage. We knew what we were going to be married for.

WiGRadio Team: What helped you settle in your mind that you will with him?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: What helped me was the conviction I had about the prophecies that had been given previously to my husband that his ministry will not be in Nigeria.

WiGRadio Team: So how is marriage with children?How are you able to keep the love flames burning. Because we know that children usually demand a lot of attention from their parents (from the mother especially). How are you able to balance things?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: We maximize the times when they are off to school. We have our family devotion and we sometimes tell them to go out to play or force them to have their siesta.

WiGRadio Team: Have there been any point in time when you feel neglected by your wife?

Mr. Dayo Adetunji: Not at all.We put them on their own. I married her not children.Children add value to the home.It’s companionship basically. Undertanding is key and time management. We are intentional about creating time.

WiGRadio Team: Do you believe there is something like post parturition depression? If yes, did you go through it? And what were the things you did to come out of it?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: I don’t remember having such. I am hearing this terminology “post parturition depression” for the first time.One thing God has taught me is that nothing in life can truly satisfy thoroughly and continually like Jesus. Yes child birth is so beautiful but after a while, the demands that the new born makes on the mother can get her exhausted in no time.

WiGRadio Team: what were the things you did to help her during this time?

Mr. Dayo Adetunji: I assist with duties. I do night shift with baby too. I provide for her and make adjustments where necessary and so on.

WiGRadio Team: You got married to someone who is very passionate about kingdom work and we can say to an extent that helped her in making her decision to travel for mission work. But what advice would you give to a brother who has God’s calling but whose fiancee just want to be a normal worker in the church and not a pastor’s wife?

Mr Dayo Adetunji: He shouldn’t marry her except God says to him to go ahead.
He may expose her to those things during courtship. Sometimes we don’t fully yet our passions until we get introduced to them. I have seen such cases. A worker is a step next to the pulpit. It’s a phase.Workers become ministers so he may keep growing and praying for her. Put her intentionally with other pastors wives. Pray her into it

WiGRadio Team: What will you say to this kind of sister to help her prepare for the work ahead?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: Hmm…First thing first. What vision does she have from God concerning her future home. If it is not compatible with the one her fiance has presented, she may need to pause the relationship and seek God’s face if she should proceed or call it quit.

WiGRadio Team: Can you share with us one or two trials of faith you’ve faced in your marriage? Moments where all you could do is just hold on tight unto God and He showed up.

Mr David Adetunji: Apart from stepping into Tanzania. We had real trials before marriage. It was serious and long stories. Her dad wouldn’t want her to marry me and didn’t even attend the wedding. But he gave us permission to go ahead. Her mum didn’t come too. Her other relations and grand parents were there plus mine. But he eventually called me the best Son In Law he had. We settled after marriage naturally.Her mum was very supportive ooo all through but of course the man heads the home.

WiGRadio Team: It would have taken a great courage for you to go ahead with the wedding without the support of your parents, what was the motivation? Did you at any point feel bad or want to withdraw from going ahead with the wedding ma?

Mrs. Olubusayo Adetunji: My mum was in support but was quiet because of my dad. My dad gave us the permission to get married at the registry. So we immediately filed for it at the registry. However, the devil tried to discourage us when two weeks to the wedding, my dad began to say we should change the location of the registry or cancel the wedding. This was difficult for us because we had made preparations for that particular registry. I went ahead because I was convinced that my fiance at that time is God’s will for me and that all that came afterwards were just the barking of a dog from the devil. Of course I felt bad. But I would felt worse if I gave up on my wedding. I was too convinced to back out.

WiGRadio Team: Wow! What an impactful session it was with you! Thank you so much for these honest responses. We really appreciate you sir and ma.

The Adetunjis: Thank you for having us.