By Edwina Danjuma

Stress management is all about taking charge of your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems

You see the hours of a day can never exceed 24, you don’t live in an island so you will always come across people that will hurt you, the bills will never stop coming. In other words you can’t run away from all this realities of life so you must deal with them or manage them

In other to manage or deal with stress, we must first of all identify the sources of stress in our lives. Is it from our work, the companies we keep or from the bad habits we hold on to? Like the saying goes, “you can’t solve a problem until you know you have one.”

After you have identified the sources, in other to manage or deal with stress we can practice what I term “the 4 A’s of stress management.

These 4 A’s are: avoid, alter, adapt and accept

It is not healthy to avoid a stressful situation that needs to be addressed, but you may be surprised by the number of stressors in your life that you can eliminate.

  1. AVOID

Learn how to say no; know your limits and stick to them whether in your personal or professional life.

Taking on more than you can handle is a sure-fire recipe for stress. Distinguish between the ‘should’ and the ‘must’ and when possible, say no to taking too much.

Avoid people who stress you out! Take control of your environment; if the evening news makes you anxious turn off the television.

Pare down your to-do list.

  1. ALTER

If you can’t avoid a stressful situation, try to alter it. Often, this involves changing the way you communicate and operate in your daily life.

Express your feelings instead of bottling them up.

If you don’t voice your feelings, resentment will build and the stress will increase.

Be willing to compromise; if you want things to change or people to change, you must be willing to change yourself.

Create a balanced schedule; find a balance between work, social life and solitary pursuits.

  1. Adapt

But just in case you can’t change the stressor, you can adapt to stressful situations and regain your sense of control by changing your expectations and attitude.

Reframe problems! Be more positive about negative situations; it’s all about your outlook or perspective! You can choose to believe that no matter how negative it seems, you trust God that it is working for your good and pray because the Bible says all things works together for your good, dear child of God.

Look at the big picture; is it really worth getting upset? Will it matter in a month, a week or a year? If the answer is a big No, then focus your energy elsewhere.

Adjust your standards; learn to be okay with good enough. Perfectionism is a major source of avoidable stress. Practice gratitude; when you feel stressed out, take a moment to reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life.

  1. Accept

Accept the things you can’t change, some sources of stress are unavoidable like the death of a loved one. Don’t try to control the uncontrollabl; look for the upside. When facing a major challenge try to look at it as an opportunity for personal growth.

Learn to forgive; let go of anger and resentments, free yourself from negative energy by forgiving and moving on.

Share your feelings, that’s why God created you with people around you like friends, family and loved ones. Talk to someone. It really helps!

And finally, find your own destressor, it could be books, movies or good music…anything that works for you. And enjoy a stress free life. For me, sleeping does it but I find it hard when I have many things running through my mind as a perfectionist.

What is a better way to quickly get a desired sleep???

Accept the fact that you are human and not a machine (even a machine breaks down sometimes), so you have to develop the habit of resting or taking a break.

What of people who are natural workaholics? They need to slow down if need be, if not, they can break down. You sure don’t want to break down due to stress.


This post is a selection from the Wisdom Gate Family Bible Study Series ©2017. If this has blessed you, kindly drop us a comment or send us a mail at You can also listen live to WiG Radio on or download the app at





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